New Smarties Tube!! THEY ARE CRAP

I recently wrote to Nestle and recieved a less than lukewarm response!!

Dear Nestle,  

I am sure you have had many e-mails, letters, phone calls and people standing outside your factory with little placards chanting ‘Bring back the old smarties tube’.  I understand that when something you’ve grown up with, something that has formed the cornerstone of society for over 50 years, changes – well, as you can imagine, society itself can crumble.  Now, I am not a traditionalist, I don’t hanker for those heady days when you’d forget what the letter ‘a’ looked like so you went out and bought 50 tubes of smarties in the hope there’d be one on the lid.  Nor do I pine for that halcyon past when life was easy; those coloured sweets reminding me of a better time when people could just leave their front doors open and we’d all huddle round the coal fire – something we wouldn’t have had to do if we’d just shut the front door!  I don’t even sit in the corner, rocking and staring at the wall, wishing things didn’t have to change, wishing I could go into shops again and ask for a Marathon and not get funny looks – any more. 

No, I am not one of those people.  Yes, the packaging has changed, no doubt cheaper to make, no doubt holding less smarties and no doubt creating a furore so large that it markets your product for you!  I understand the health and safety angle; many’s the time my class mates at school started clawing at their throats because they swallowed the lid, mistaking it for chocolate.  Also, using the lid as a missile and flicking it off the top of the tube almost always ended up with a classmate ending up in the eye hospital.  I am not stupid Mr Nestle, I understand that because you can’t re-seal the new tube like you could with the old one, it means you have to eat all the smarties in one go – increasing the frequency of buying replacements – thus increasing sales.  I can also assure you that the presenters of Blue Peter are not happy with you – they are now on the look out for something else they can make into a telescope.  Also, my son has ADSD and smarties are his favourite sweet, but he said he will never buy another tube unless the shape of the tube is changed back; he used to use the tube as an escape tunnel for his micro machines. 

 

None of these things concern me however, what does boil my boots is that I have nowhere to put my 20p’s!!  With the old tubes, I could tell straight away when I had saved up £15.  Now I have to count my money! DO YOU THINK THIS IS ACCEPTABLE???  This is where you have failed me Mr Nestle, my finances are now in chaos thanks to you.  I have a mind to copy this e-mail to the government – if you won’t bring back the circular tube, maybe they will make 20p’s hexagonal? 

MY LIFE IS IN RUINS!  My wife is now having an affair with the next door neighbour, my cat has got flu, the binmen forgot to take my bin this Monday and I have nowhere to put this weeks rubbish, I’m having a bad hair day and on top of all this, I HAVE 20p’s STREWN WILLY-NILLY ACROSS MY DRESSING TABLE!!  I hope you’re happy with yourself Mr Nestle, when I’m gone, I’m going to haunt you!  I WANT COMPENSATION!  

If I am not properly compensated, I’m going to tell your boss you hit me. 

 

Kind Regards,

I at least expected a few free tubes to apologise!!

Filed Under: LONDON
Discussion:

POSTED by: urbanfox on 16 January 2007 at 3:18 pm

1 Comment

1. benstopher Says:
   January 16th, 2007 at 3:33 pm

   They owe us all! FURTHER READING

   
   

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